horrifying children, one egg at a time

in case you didn't know, i teach the kindergarten sunday school class at church.

it is one of my preferred groups of children this year.  i mean......i'm a good teacher and have no preferences amongst my children.

........yes.

ANYWAY.

because it is lent (for all you non-liturgical church people out there who don't know.  it IS lent. and lent is coming to a close.  oh, and it's the season before easter, in case you were unaware for whatever reason you may have), we have been talking about lent and Jesus and easter and dying on the cross and taking away sins and so on and so forth.  and while any of my kids can tell you lent starts on ash wednesday, is 40 days long, and at the end is holy week which begins with palm sunday when Jesus rode a donkey and then there's maundy thursday which is a funny name and then good friday when Jesus died and then easter when he rose!, it turns out they aren't actually terribly familiar with the easter story.  i learned that with the help of some friends of mine this last sunday, or as i like to call it, palm sunday.

my friends.  although probably not my kids' friends.

these were innocuously brought into our classroom on sunday, just as they were into the two younger classes as well, just as they've been for several years.  so i knew my kids had seen them before and knew what they were.

in case YOU don't know, them there darlin's are called Resurrection Eggs.  i love me some Resurrection Eggs (also i keep trying to spell "resurrection" "ressurection," and it doesn't work.  lame to the MAX) because they are wonderfully helpful in the easter story.  there are 12 plastic eggs and each egg contains something different that relates to the easter story.  for instance, the first egg contains a pelt of "donkey fur" (brown felt, really) so we know Jesus rode a donkey into jerusalem, and then there's a palm branch because people laid down palm branches and a cup for the last supper and so on and so forth.  they're really pretty fantastic.

so my class gets these eggs, and from the first egg, they don't know what it is or why it's there, and these are kids who can tell you what we talked about several weeks ago and know exactly what's up.  they had NO IDEA about ANY of the eggs.  that made it SPECIAL fun when we pulled out the small leather strip that is supposed to be the whip.  because Jesus was flogged, right?  so there's a little whip.

my kids had no idea Jesus got whipped.  i spared them the whole "flogging" thing because if i used the word they'd want to know and then i'd have to explain it and i'd probably pass out but they all know 911 i think so maybe it'd be okay?  whatever.  i got horrified looks from all of them just from saying "whipped."

skip to our next egg.  it features a crown of thorns.  they all thought it was a bumpy ring.  nope.  so we talked about what thorns are ("my mom has roses!") and how they made a crown out of them and put it on Jesus.  cue more horrified looks.  apparently they somehow managed to miss that detail.

the real kicker, though, was the nails.  there were three nails, and they had been formed to make a cross.  the kids thought there were three swords.  nope.  they were nails, and of course we all know what they were used for.  the kids didn't, of course.  one little girl actually yelled at me when i told them.  i may have scarred them for life.  delightful.

AND THEN.

we got the egg with the spear, and they were told that Jesus got STABBED by a SPEAR, after he'd been WHIPPED and WORN THORNS and been STUCK WITH NAILS.   ABJKHIGYTJIEHYPEHASDBJVC.

at this point all they could manage was to shake their heads at the floor dejectedly.  it was really kind of sad.  but then we opened the last egg, and it was empty, and we were all like, yay the tomb is empty too!  Jesus rose!  and then they were all fine, as if all the abject terror they'd been shooting at me with their eyes had vaporized.

kids are funny like that.

it's all serious up in here

so, a little over a week ago, on thursday the 15th, my uncle died.

John Lykken, 1/14/48-3/15/12

it was sudden, unexpected, and totally Not Awesome.  quite frankly, i haven't heard yet if they've figured out exactly why he died.  last i heard they didn't know.  what i DO know is he had alzheimer's for almost 10 years, and has been in facilities for approximately the same amount of time.  i know he's had violent episodes, and i know he wasn't "doing too well," although i cannot say for sure what precisely was meant by that.

i also have to say i didn't know him too very well, since as is the case with pretty much my entire family he lived half the country away from me so i didn't see him too often.  the last time i saw him, actually, was at my grandfather's funeral 8 years ago, and at that point in time he was already starting to slip into the alzheimer's.

my parents were the only ones in my family able to go to the funeral for him (exorbitant airline prices), but my mother came back with lots of pictures of relatives and buffalo (that's south dakota for you), and most importantly a story.  tidbit.  trivia?  pick your word.  ANYWAY.  what had happened involved my aunt, my uncle, and my cousin, who is also deceased.  my cousin aaron died 11 years ago by his own hand, and i still feel like he died yesterday.  i miss him terribly, and am unconvinced i will ever move much more past it.  that said, my mother came home and told me that while they were out burying my uncle, she asked my aunt sue where aaron was buried, and aunt sue came back with this: when aaron died, they cremated him, and never buried/scattered him anywhere, because nowhere felt right.  so she held on to the urn holding him.  when uncle john died, it apparently came to her exactly what to do with aaron.  and so, aaron's urn was placed in john's casket, and they were buried together.

that...is probably my most favorite thing in the world.  i absolutely miss them both terribly, but there is extreme comfort in knowing they are together.

AND, now that i am having trouble reading what i'm writing through the cryings, i shall stop, because i think i can go no further at the moment.

bye, uncle john.  and bye, aaron.  i love you both.

maybe my vocabulary is TOO big

QUICK!

name three to seven nouns that starts with the letter "H" a four year old would know what it was and how to draw it!

what did you come up with?

horse, house, hand, hose, and hat?

cool.

know what i got?

heaven, habit, humongous, hatred, homeopathic, and hit.

i am not good at this game.

this is a slight problem for me, because at school we have alphabet books that we work in.  each go at them requires that three (3) letters be done.  doing a letter involves tracing it with your finger, then a marker, then copying it below freehand, then drawing a picture of something that starts with that letter.

the children tend to want to draw what their friend before them drew, so it isn't a big issue, except when they actually need ideas.  because i Suck Royally at that.

i think the Worst Letter for that is actually "D", which was Very Kindly Pointed Out for me that "D" is a Very Easy Letter for this, because there are things like dragon and dog and doctor and i can't think of anymore because all i can come up with is defunct and dissociate and derelict and devolve and driven and drank and other things that four year olds have NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS.

and quite frankly, even if they DID know any of those words, most of them, as far as i know, are un-illustratable (i think i made that word up.  whatever)(also i'm pretty sure they actually know "drank."  but i digress.  another d word.  rockin'.).

we've actually taken to keeping a dictionary (D!) in our room this year, because this is a common problem.  mostly for me.....i can come up with ignoramus a lot better than ice cream, nasal  better than nose, malice better than mouse, perfunctory better than....AH!  penguin (see?).

maybe i should take to having a permanent list of things for each letter to refer to so as to no longer have to think on my feet.  i tend to feel bad when all i have to recommend for an illustration is "colloquialism."

but maybe that's just me.

tastes like encouragement

today is friday.

i LIKE friday.

friday is the day we have chapel and music at school, which means some of our time is planned for us.

friday is the day i take the car seats out of the back of my car and return them to my boys' mother so that she can give them to the other sitter on monday.

friday is the day i can stay up late if i want and not have to worry about waking up early the next morning (although i will anyway, because that's just How I Roll).

friday is my last day at preschool for three days.

friday night is the night i can have a drink or three or eighty (not really)(seriously, you guys, that's just ridiculous) and not have to worry about the next day.

this week, friday was also the day that the other teacher in my class was out, and so we had a sub.  it was also the one-week anniversary of several.....incidents, shall we say in our class.  this lead to the Director of the School stopping in several times.  y'know, just to check on things and make sure no one had died.

at one point, she pulled me out in the hall to talk about something she had witnessed with a couple children, and as we were closing the door, she said something.  now, i don't know if she necessarily meant me to hear this, but say it she did.  her words?  "you're going to become a wino this year whether you want to or not."

ayup.

not a necessarily untrue statement, Boss Lady.  not necessarily untrue.

whether or not she knows any beyonce songs is unclear to me

Girl and i were having a conversation on the playground yesterday, as we are Wont To Do (that's her favorite place to talk to me, i think).

we were talking about the slight difference between MISS and MRS (for verily that is the only separation betwixt my name and my mother's, and the children are frequently confused).  eventually Girl looks at me and declares, "yeah, you're a Single Lady.  and Single Ladies don't get married."

ever?

"no, they never get married. Single Ladies are always Single Ladies and they never get married."

well, SOME of them might.

"no.  none of the Single Ladies ever get married."



this is good to know, i suppose.  although now i've got to wish my parents good luck on the whole grandparent thing....oh well.

he's so sweet to me

on monday i went to the mall.

and i got my ears pierced.

for the very first time in my 23 years.

as a result, i'm still learning how to sleep, and consequently not sleeping too very well.

this means i am tired.  a lot.  even more than usual.

at school this morning, Boy came walking up to me.  he looked up at me with a very sweet look on his face, used his nicest tone of voice.  quite frankly, i thought he was about to tell me he liked my shirt or something of that nature, as that face and tone have indicated in the past, but this is what he said: "miss stone, you look TIRED."

why yes, Boy.  yes i do.  thank you so much for pointing it out.

even more disjointed than usual!

i've been missing.  have some thoughts!  or something.

• christmas happened!  it was awesome.
• we had a lovely break from school that both sped by and dragged on.  it was weird.
• over said break my family went to williamsburg.  verily we encountered witchcraft and treacherous behavior.  there were ladies in trousers all over!  most disturbing.  (witchy proof [pictures] to come)
• if you are unfamiliar with the bloggess and consequently her traveling red dress movement/action group/thing you should remedy that.  because otherwise this bullet point won't make much sense.  i got my red dress in williamsburg.  my mom bought it for me.  also mine isn't a red dress, it's a cape.  a real, wool, colonial-style cape that i have wanted more than anything since the first time i read the felicity books from american girl when i was 6.  i got it.  and it's amazing and beautiful and wonderful and still makes me a little nauseous so i haven't actually worn it anywhere yet.  i love it.
• another one of my lifelong friends got engaged, which means i have two (2) wedding this summer, and also i have to buy two dresses instead of one because the silly brides wouldn't pick the same color.  it was less than awesome.
• school started back up!  the children are as delightful as ever.  my favorite moments from 2012 thus far:
• Boy was standing on top of the playscape leaning over to yell at all the other children "NANANANANANA, I'M TEASING YOUUUU!"  this, of course, required Teacherly Action, so i went to ask him if teasing was a kind thing to do, and his response was that no, it wasn't.  so i asked him then why he did it.  his response?  "because we have sin in our hearts."  i had no response.
• our classroom schedule dictates that after we have snack we have sharing and a story.  on this particular day, which as particularly trying, we had had cheese and crackers for snack, so i had to put the cheese back in the fridge in the kitchen while the kids heard a story.  i walked out of the room and ran into a woman from church who had her 3 year old son with her.  after saying hi to them, the little boy (who is the absolute cutest child i have EVER encountered, no lie, and also consequently a complete spitfire) looks up at me and says, "you're my favorite girl."  this is the best thing anyone has ever said to me.
• i reread all the harry potter books.  took me about a week and a half, two weeks.  i had to grieve all over again when everyone died.  it was terrible.  and the deaths are the only reason i haven't reread them again already.  i'm not emotionally prepared.
• i got a krumkake iron for christmas.  and also a book of scandanavian baking recipes.  my sister asks me every day if i'm making krumkake now.  then the rest of my family looks at my hopefully.  including my dog.  he's kind of a fiend.  it's good stuff.  possibly one of the best presents ever.
• we had our box unit at school.  this means we had the families bring in boxes of all sizes, we made the kids draw up "architectural plans", we put the boxes together to form a castle, a rocketship, a turtle train (i don't know, don't ask), a cave, and something else that just sort of happened that i think each child thinks is something different.  so there's that.  anyway then we painted them!  and now the kids get to play with them.  it's good stuff. 

i think that's all i've got for now.  i know you're glad you stuck around for that.